digesting delusions

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 02:11:20 GMT

today:

Buffalo - 4 decent [casual/formal] tops for less than $40Avatar in 3D
FOOD!!!
Milk Tea
art
planning -pr-
reconfiguring CSS / trying to recall stuff + basic HTML
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tonight:

planning -pr- : redesigning more stuff, drawing up more plans
art
cutting out fabric for -pr- #1
a bit of sleep

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I've decided to keep this journal, but will re-link -pr-, my baby.

SOMEONE's REALLY HAPPY and...

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 08:05:41 GMT

dagfdsa dsagsgsa...

uhm...

i got my copy, friday night...it's signed inside...like hell i'm gonna show my name inside the cover...but yeah :3

no, i'm not a big fan of Hamlet Machine *blinks* doh.

in a few as well, i'll be leaving this account soon. maybe not permanently, but i'll be changing my main blog, to which i'll be opening publicly and posting art-related stuff, seriously, for real over there. i'm sensing something epic in the making.

In the meantime, i'll be busying myself making art. I need a new sketchbook, big marker, and a job.

a disease

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 01:43:58 GMT

This online journal aka blog is where I vent my frustrations, shout my joys, exasperate the non-existent, and exhume euphoria hidden from rental+lative sights.

I’ve tried…I can’t say so hard, but I have tried to lure myself away from severe unholy ground which is the internet, and just…prevent the inevitable from happening---which inevitably happened anyway. Now, I find Inariya Fusanosuke’s Zion no Koeda, complete…and resistance is futile.

Of course to the general public [such few, so meager, such…a small number of audience/lj watchers, but whatever because it doesn’t matter] this doesn’t make sense and I don’t want it to make sense, but it will make sense if you do know me. Get it? no? good. Yes? I love your aura. It’s so green, and I love it. The tint of red is also gorgeous. I applaud you.

From Giglio, to this…I’m steadily becoming a fan of war stories---and what happens within them. No. I’m actually a fan of them because of Mizukami Shin. However, plot-wise, Inariya’s a winner. I need more of these. Yaoi with good plot. I wish that I could see more Shimizu Yuki titles scanlated. Same with Abe Miyuki, and for cutesy that’s not so cute but so cutely wrong, Kaori Monchi. Ima Ichiko’s another winner. I like her titles. Even though they lack the actual yaoi, I like the progression of her plots and relationships, even stand alones or non-bl.

I feel as if all I rant about is yaoi, all things are a representation of the “GAY-ZE” [FACS. Forgive me. It just had to happen] even bones have…heads, bodies and shafts.

I don’t think that my anatomy test is gonna be horrendous. If I can just get the information processed by my brain [which is being recycled by imaginary zombies as we speak/type, err] and just…stick it there…all will be well. Dealing with tubercles, tuberosities, condyles, heads, bodies, shafts…pubis doesn’t belong, doesn’t it? and…obturator foramen just…sounds so obtuse and foreign. Eurgh.

Then there’s critical issues…and the temptation to lure myself from academic matters and subject myself to artistic ideas that pop ever so often, or just playing games. Double eurgh. I found some artists I’m really digging, I found expiration somewhere, found some stuff I could play with, old sketches that need some revival. How long will this torture last???

My dinner consisted of sunflower seeds, grapes, and strawberries. I had chocolate chip cookies and milk for desert, which I also had before dinner.

What was your dinner?

Bon apetit~

i need to focus on schoolwork, i know. this is hell week. so why can't i focus? i need the internet to search for anatomy stuff damnit.

grr...

LIKE FREEZING HELL!

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:35:41 GMT

...

HAS PLANNED OUT THEIR <UNGODLY SCHEDULE>

UGH.

school has just been dishing out so much lately. it's insane, but hell, this is where i want to be.

to lay everything, here be my schedule:

Monday [Nov 10]
     * 5:30-9:30, Anatomy [lab and written test next week]

Tuesday [Nov11]
     * 1:00am-3/4am, work on digital trans hellishly [i HATE this assign. i used to have patience on vectors...but now i hate it.]
     * 7:45am - wake up
     * 9am - go to kinkos, print stuff [if fails, wtvr]
     * 10am - go to to school
     * 11:30-2:30 - Critical Issues in Design
     * 2:30-5:30 - lunch, work on digital trans if not done, print, etc
     * 5:30-9:30 - Visual Language
     * 9:30-7:20am - stay over at school, finish type, finish FACS annotated bibliography, try to do more work on Critical Issues Annotated Bibliography2

Wednesday
     * 7:20 - go home
     * 8-ish - sleep
     * 1:00 - wake up, eat, freshen up
     *1:30 - meet mom at fairview mall, mac store, buy macbook pro
     * 2:00 onwards - sleep or get work done on Critical Issues

Thursday
     * 8:30-12:30 - Typography1
     *12:30-2:00 - lunch break
     *2:30-5:30 - FACS
     *5:30 - go home
     * 6:30-7:00 - home, eat dinner, rest
     * 8:00 work on Critical Issues

Friday
     * morning [prolly...9-ish] - leave for Sheridan
     * 10:30-11am - pick up programs at Sheridan
     *12-1-ish pm - home, eat lunch, rest
     * 3pm onwards - work on Critical Issues like hell

Saturday - Sunday - STUDY ON ANATOMY LIKE FRIGGIN HELL

</END OF ~~TIGHTASS~~ UNGODLY SCHEDULE>

i'll survive...right?

ugh. but seriously folks. this is where i wanna be. i love art. but i just realized that i don't want to...draw non-human objects. i try. but i really like drawing women, plus my caliber sky rocketing towards a kawasaki is just...not realistic right now. i got myself into this shit and i believe i will come out victorious. if not semi. or just happy doing what i like doing best. if not, just something i like doing. even though it's basically been done. Overdone. SO MANY TIEMZ.

and i hear that we have more in second year. like 3 theory subjs [history of design+1more, + Research in Design] and 5 in Design Practicum. I still need 12 more creds in FA electives and 6 for Humanities. oh the joy. and 12 free electives. lalalalalalaaaaaa~

no, i should be psyched. excited...need more expirations...and start working on digital trans...transform inertia to kinetics...! I CAN FEEL THE SYNERGY DAMMNNIT!

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 00:05:10 GMT

wired vocaloids

well, first off, i got into an acidic, arsenic, angst+++ session---probably the few remaining [or maybe last?] of my soon to be cut off teenage years---with my mom. i think it's been resolved. if we don't talk about it, i take it as something resolved. on a level. it's been done, very messy, but done. it'll be put in the attic of ill memoirs and tucked away, but never forgotten.

this aside, well...NOVEMBER 6 COMETH, MY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION COMMENCES~!

I'M EXCITED!!!----for the food~! @u@~!

oh lord. it just so happens that hospitality [former school's culinary program] cooks really awesome food, appetizers, deserts, etc. for a main dish, [ex: steak, corn on the cob, veggies] you pay $5. sweet deal.

i was nervous at first because the letter to be sent out individually regarding graduation/invitation had not reached our apt yet. turns out, they sent it to the place i used to live at, w/c i obviously no longer reside. doh. i've heard no news of the letter reaching that place as well, so this got me quite anxious. i dropped by CTS this friday and asked for the letter. i wanted to see my old teachers as well and inquire from mr. bein about the skateboard [my design ISU got chosen to be printed on a skateboard school/park's deck of skateboards for kids] design thing, if i'm getting that at grad or if i have to meet up with him and go to the company to ask for my...stuff?
well, i didn't get to see them because it was lunch time, and well...i just didn't have the patience to wait for 30mins.

on the way home, i decided to stop by this japanese restaurant [that's owned by koreans, which is most likely in regards to japanese restaurants] that sells unagi don at lunch for a special price [5.99 with soup and salad---sweet deal~ at york lanes, it's 6.79 and otherwise, 9 up at other places, no lunch special] and that place is basically the only place i've found that sells unagi don with their lunch special prices. but i decided not to, and save the money as because right now, my bank acct is crying and telling me to not forget to pack lunch instead.

i do believe this was the right choice, now if only i told myself not to stop by labyrinth bookstore and keep straight, walk right to spadina station and skip the lovely bookstore of doom. well...the eyes are such...ugh. rebels.
so i stop by labyrinth, just telling myself, just a peek, not getting anythiiinngg---ooh! god! and well, it hit me hard.

KINDLING, by James Jean has 12 removable prints, one of which is a 2-p spread removable poster. not as if i'm removing anything inside. although they really are pretty and serve as really great expiration [inspiration] for your visual soul.

He and Takato Yamamoto take up the top two spots as my favorite artists. JJ's second despite his brilliance because imo, no once can compare to Takato Yamamoto, or at least i haven't seen anyone---yet. surely, there are artists with similar styles. i've seen one. however, the graphicness, eroticism, and overall how TY's works blow your mind is just enough for me [or maybe it's because i'm biased towards art featuring 2---or more---men in sexual positions and bdsm, though i tell you, that isn't the point] and well...his is my kind of art genre. i also saw a juxtapoz mag that recently featured TY for their Halloween 09 issue.

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Halloween's pretty much soon...

Who/What are you dressing up for in Halloween? :)

and so,
i leave you with...

be utterly amazed, amused, creeped out, dumbfounded, horrified, puking your guts out, or 'ZOMG *dies*'

the grunge combustion

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 18:05:34 GMT

i got bored while doing homework. so although i'm 8 images short, i played around with what i got.

we need 50-90 images for visual language. i went through my photocopies, tweaked a bit, and here are some of what i came up with.
i got inspired and made something like an album cover sortof-ish thingamajig. some words as well.

if you'd like to see the tiles in much more detail, here's the link to a bigger size:
i7.photobucket.com/albums/y280/chloe_shun_kishida/visuel_orgasmique.jpg

so, let's begin with:

nothing to be scared of, right?

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i like this grungy-looking old school stuff. i didn't really bother with fixing font, size, intermixing serifs with non-serifs, bla bla. but i think it's pretty cool.

disschattenigme is spelled out in the font: fountain pen frenzy, which is my favorite decorative font.

everything's non-commercial. personal use? maybe. i might want to try printing out stuff into say...11x17 or bigger and hang it up on my room somewhere. i've got more but bah. my internet connection is going delirious on me and uploading takes forever.

i have new stuff on dA [deviantART] as well but err...i didn't post it here?

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of gays and games,

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:08:16 GMT

oh god. seriously,

the gayest characters i have ever played in any game...

my hat goes of to:

The Emperor & Kuja. [yes, period]

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Honestly, let me give you a DISSIDIA scenario:

Emperor to Cloud: Entertain Me
*Cloud gets trapped several times [ah, ah, ah! becomes prolly an, ann, ahnn~ or is it just me?]*
---Cloud loses, gets totalled in EX-Mode---
Emperor: Learn your limits [of pleasing me---whut???]

and then he sits in the air like some prima dona. SRSLY.
---------------------------------------------------------------

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH KUJA.

But then, i do think that they look pre.tty. good. to.ge.therrr...

To begin with,

both have feathers for hair;
terribly vain, both are;
they LOVE to torture whoever they're against;

THEY JUST LOOK GOOD TOGETHER, DAMMMNNIT!

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on the other hand,

reading week's been pretty good. i've been drawing again---like my stuff, not school shit, yea!
95% done with one piece,
100% done with another,
both in mixed media.
i'd like to render the 2nd one once again however.

reading week's been fun~

i think i need another one. god. reading week...don't leeeaavee meee...yet.

frig. i have to get a headstart on my readings. then there's 90 images for visual language, and 4 layouts for typography. i really need to dl illustrator and indesign onto my laptop >. > no more space, man...

BLOODY DOLL RANT

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 06:41:39 GMT

FORKS, I'M IN LOVE O_O!

http://iplehouse.net/board/view.php?board_name=DREAMBOARD10&ID=42&choose2=&choose1=&pagenow=1&CB=

include the = to view link.

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FORKING BANNANAS WITH STRAWBERRIES AND WHIPPED CREAM, HOLY CRAP, [i never knew crap so holy but] HOLY CRAP!!!

he's just what i've been looking for to partner with my Heliot! [aka Illumi]

The Hisoka to my Illumi! [they've got different names, but they're a couple i've based on this envisionment of smexy unreality]

i have no idea how i'm going to be saving up for this guy once he's out---of course i'm not getting him immediately, but at least i know what mold is going to give life to my dream couple's man, as in HE DA MAN!!!

and yes, by Hisoka, i mean HISOKA HXH
and yes, by Illumi, i mean ILLUMI Z. HXH

they're not as is, but this is my Bloody White dream couple, for ages [i think 2003-4ish it began] that replaced kuramaXhiei. really. as in SRZLY, with a Z.

the wig i've chosen for Hisoka: http://crobidolls.com/shop/step1.php?number=1017
i have an alternate in mind which is also on crobidoll [i love their wigs] made out of mohair, in "indi blue" [forgot if 'indi' had an 'e']

btw,

I AM NOT OGGLING OVER SAID DOLLS NEKKIDNESS, HOTNESS, HARASSING, AND/OR RAPING THE GUY VISUALLY, [okay, maybe that's a possibility, but no] BUT I'M DROOLING OVER THE IDEA THAT HE'S PERFECT FOR "HISOKA" OK?? SEE THAT SMIRK?? EVEN THE SMIRK IS! You can't really see the eyes yet, but i have a feeling it's gonna be perfect, because the EID superhero body was just too big for my liking.

I had Dollshe Rosen in mind, previously. Seein however that Hound is definitely different from Rosen, and that Mr. Dollshe has definitely remodelled the whole head, more like a fusion of Hound and Bermann, i digress. It's nice, yes, and i can see that people are appreciating it, i do, it just doesn't fit the Hisoka i'm looking for. PLUS, 74cm is too big for 67.5cm, than 70.5cm is. Hisoka and Illumi are almost of the same height, but i can manage with a 3cm difference.

Now, i have to put this boy on my list of things to save, a mac probook being the priority, hmmnn...damn.

spandex predation: a meme

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 04:12:13 GMT

well i'm tired and tired and tired, oh, and tired, AND sleepy.

lots of stuff to do over the week+end. school is dumping submission dates---one of which includes a 50-page ready followed by an annotated bibliography on said 50+ pages reading. so uh, i'm gonna bond a while with the computer before getting shut-eye and focusing on school work.

meme under the

Who sleeps in bed next to you?
nadda

What's one of the stupidest things you've done?
not doing things i'm supposed to do---like my omG-- prornnnzzz [best thing that happened in my life, me reckons]

What kind of magazines do you read? What news sites do you read?
mostly comics. newspapers. if i see a national geographic mag, most def, yeah.

If you could see one band in concert right now, any band, dead or alive, which would it be?
Dir en Grey

What's really disgusting?
mixing sauces to eat [idk. like mixing ketchup with soy sauce, oyster sauce, chilli, mayonnaise, mustard, ice cream, etc]

Name one odd item within five feet of you.
headless doll [i don't think it's odd though]

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
i'm actually digging men in spandex right now. like a conglomeration of men. hot sexy gay men. in spandex.

Where would you like to go right now if you had enough money?
phils. japan too, but if i could volunteer and just give my time for ondoy victims, i woud.

What are you most excited for?
how about not excited? such as, doing a whole pile of sh*t for school.

What websites do you always visit when you go online? What's your favorite place to visit?
yahoo, google, DoA, lj comms, facebook

What was the last thing you bought?
a burger. blame tresa cuz her noodles made me hungry. forgot to pack lunch x_x

What's your favorite season?
Autumn~~ *sings* when autumn leaves...start to fall~ because i can dress up lazy, or just...dress up. lol. summer clothes = boring

Does the weather affect your mood?
ever heard of the term b*tch in heat? well, not like that but uh...the heat can be a btch.

What is your zodiac sign?
Aries and Horse

What new skill do you want to learn right now?
how about the opposite of procrastination? ha.HA.

5 things (not people) you can't live without?
books, laptop+internet, games, a bed, design [lol, like knowing which position to put these two...] i mean art

Do you have any siblings?
naah. i was supposed to be superceded, i mean preceeded but...well...

What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
you dig hot, sexy, gay men. in spandex.

What subject in school did you remember the easiest?
English?

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and so folks, have a nightmare before christmas, i mean, good night :)

of games, games, and oh, games.

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 02:52:28 GMT

i finally got to update from 3.51M33 to 5.0M33
it was a long night of searching, but i finally got to it. darn DADADA complexities.

i finally got to play some games i've been dying to play---all of them needing 4.0 up.

Guilty Gear Accent Core
Batman Lego
Final Fantasy Dissidia

i'm still a millia fan even after playing A.B.A. w/o moroha mode, she's too slow. in moroha mode, you lose HP. favorite millia move: lusty shaker. i'm also an i-no fan~<3 really. i'm also getting used to anji---although i still think he's a pretty vain <s>gay</s> guy. also diging eddie, venom, and slayer---why tf do assassins make my list as faves in games/shows,etc for me? idk.

i just started playing batman lego so no comments so far, except that it loads pretty slow [maybe just for me since my psp is 1000, bla bladadadada] i'm <s>giggling</s> chuckling over everyone's lego forms, poison ivy and cat woman esp. why no harley?? [she's also not in the arkham asylum comic, but what the heck]

Dissidia---i finally got my hands off it. i started this morning, had to beg myself to eat, and then finally got my shaking hands off my console around 7-ish. i went into arcade, battle first---sephy was the first one i unlocked as a usable character. lol. i had fun playing him, cloud of darkness, terra, ultimeccia, warrior of light, and cecil to an extent. i'm at tidus story mode right now---fighting jecht. failing. i think i still have to get a hang of how you gain 1000+ brv pts in an instant x_x i do wish that they gave the game option to whether or not you wanted english dubs and orig va with subs.

on art, i'm a lazy ass/bum right now. i have half-finished works and half-assed feelings to touch them---although i realize that it's when i feel like working on them that i come out with best results. which is...bad/good. i feel the need to get serious but i get discouraged and low-driven easily...i mean my drive lowers easily. something like that. wth?

i'm also getting really bad headaches again. not migraines. headaches. and they're eye-related again. which is really bad because i need to use the computer a lot, seein that my course demands such. i don't think that the fact that my room contains a lot of red stuff is the problem anyhow [red sheets, curtains, pillows, books, chopsticks, towels, bathrobe, more? poster? teddy? renji?]

right now, i'm smelling lemon, butter, and fish---*tummy*

*zooms away*

lollilollilully---lulz~

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 00:39:00 GMT

LOL. ok, thank you Nneka for showing me thissss....everything. hahahahahha XDDD

i REALLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU WATCH THIS---IN ORDER plzz~

youtube.com/watch?v=9gZD26G38dc&feature=related
^ - watch this first. you have to watch this to understand the second vid---well, not really. but it makes more sense.

youtube.com/watch?v=In4PkD1u6u0
^ - the lulz. the shiz, mwah~

youtube.com/watch?v=MQ5ziNOtoMU
^ - standalone. you can watch this without watching the two above, or, watch it first :)---an animation vid, english. made by someone from sheridan

if you do decide to watch and enjoyed, please to be commenting your thoughts, no vomit please, or just share to the rest of the world. lol. ok, i'm off to do homework~

due to a lack of appendix and adipose...

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 03:54:24 GMT

i'm actually in university right now.

Can you believe it???

neither can i!!!

man, gotta take things more seriously. on the other hand, i'm still addicted to some facebook apps---mostly games where you wait ridiculously long times to complete missions, level up, and just basically procrastinate and pour passion, aka waste your time over something...fun?

i feel lazy uploading pics at lj just because i have them up either at multiply or facebook, and uploading them here takes shiz.

I'm currently doing a pastel drawing/painting of sorts on wood---yes, audrey kawasaki has gotten to me but takato yamamoto is still number 1, very muchly. i'm liking it. it'll be mixed media, graphite, pastel, and acrylics. i have pictures of progress/wip's but too lazy to upload. besides, it's quite rare that i get feedback here---mostly multiply, but it's a private acct/friends only. anywho...

i need to lose weight. been eating too much. i've stopped doing sit ups and i'm gaining adipose in my tummy---nipple growth will no longer be impossible if symptomps persist [haha, feeling smart because of 1 anatomy lecture. loser. lol.]
i need to do more exercise that focuses on the abdomen and inner thighs. being a lazy bum is excruciatingly painful for the mind and soul.

so uhm...bla bla. got some new expirations. off to yaoi land i go~

hmmnn...random.

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 22:04:34 GMT

well you see...

Masami Okada, the same guy who plays sekime from the Hana Kimi live action drama jingy plays the lead in Otomen live action drama jingy as well.

BWAHAHAHHAHAHA...i just noticed o_O

excerpt from wiki about otomen:

"Asuka Masamune is the coolest, manliest guy in his whole school. He excels in judo and karate, and as captain of the kendo team he reached the national championship tournament. However, he has a secret: the things he really loves are sweets, cute things, cooking, shoujo manga and sewing. He hides this part of his life from everyone else but then he meets a girl named Ryo Miyakozuka, the daughter of a martial artist and heir to his dojo."

"The title, "Otomen" is a pun made of the Japanese word "otome", meaning "young lady" or "mistress", and the English word "men". The characters in the series refer to Asuka as an "otomen" and even he himself has done so."

neither Greek nor marble

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 23:58:11 GMT

SM Heliot :3

PICTURES CONTAIN SOME TASTEFUL NUDITY *cough*

i got to do a few test shots of him last night. i didn't really try to make em right/no tripod. i also did not bother to play with iso, apperture, shutter speed. but nevertheless, test shots of heliot/Illumi, beloved :3

love is:

,

,

,

,

,

,

,

,

,

,

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i leave you with:

squeezing lemon onto a petri dish is exciting

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 04:08:56 GMT

i barely post in lj. i still do a lot of the blogging stuff in multiply, and all of them since 2007 have been set to private for contacts only.

moving on, i've got a lot of plans for summer. but mundane days come.

you've got to be rich in order to have extra help in north america. well, basically, i guess anywhere out of asia for the matter.

since the immediate family moved to canada, we've been doing everything ourselves. god. i never thought that i'd actually be doing these things. i mean, i know that i'd have to set out on my own someday. thank goodness i'm learning more and more stuff, i guess?

just this morning, i cooked eel. i defrosted breakfast yesterday, took it out of the freezer around midday, around 12am, i cut the thing open, [tough! eel is tough i tell you, god!] it took me at least 30 minutes to get the whole thing cut---hey, it was my first time cutting up eel---up, and then got the sauces and spices ready, then marinated it overnight. woke up at...10-ish in the morning, decided to cook the thing, half cook first, then steamed it along with the rice. anyway,

i buy 2 packs of water[containing a dozen bottles each], around after every 4 days or so. this constitutes as our water supply, along for cooking, because since we moved to a new apartment, we've been informed that we'd have to get our own supply. my mother, being a nurse, decided to do such, etc. anyhow, since we're right next to a gasoline station containing one of those stop-over stores like select, etc, i get our water there, put it in a recycable bag, and carry the load on one shoulder. we live on the second floor, and since the whole thing is only 3 floors, the stairs aren't really much of a burden except when transfering furniture when you're new. this process is something my back has been accustomed to.

this is a pretty mundane entry. i guess i just wanted to write about what my day today.

i'm also studying for the written driver's test which i'll be taking some time this july, prolly the 3rd week or so.

my aunt and cousins couldn't make it. so bye bye for now mongolian grill.

oh, me and mother had a date of sorts. we watched a movie, the day before canada day. it was the proposal, which starred sandra bullock. i guess it was...ok? i'm looking forward to the one with john travolta and robbie williams though :) also harry potter. hehe. and the one about robots taking over your life. i forgot the title of that one.

uhm, we don't have tv? so we have dvd's [like mary poppins o_o;---and avatar :D] to entertain us aside from youtube and the internet. oh, and thank god for torrents where i can get comics.

i realized that i have a lot of clothes. but then again, i also realized that the reason i do need a lot is because 4 seasons = different kinds of clothes. looking at it this way, i realize that the clothing matter is justified, along with shoes. come on people, you don't wear slip-ons during a winter of -20 degrees. more so in one that's -40. but that's a different place :)

another realization is that i am now living with my mom. i've lived with my parents for less than half of the years i've been alive on planet earth. i guess it's taking some getting used to living with her again. one, my mother is a neat freak. NEAT. she's the epitome of OC-ness. Just right for her is equal to perfect. ok, maybe i'm exagerrating a bit, because the reason she's been cleaning like mad is because dust accumulates so fast in the place that we live in, but still, grr...the...it's...GAAAHH!!! but i think she used to be more strict back then. but her obsession on re-arranging the living room once a week is still there. we're alike in some aspects, but i definitely take more after my father. we both like order and organize stuff, but fail at it. not miserably, but fail IS fail. there's more to this thing, but this is just how far i'll be writing about it.

i've also been drawing for the past few days. nothing much. just sketches here and there, trying to hone the skills i've learned, life drawing here and there, faces, hands, gestures, objects, etc. i have concepts but i'd like to execute them when i'm sure that i'm ready, or else i know it'll get me nowhere.

ever since i came to canada, i've noticed the veins on my hands and feet becoming more obvious. especially my feet. i liked them at one stage. but then, i'm noticing that it's beginning to look like my father's. my mother pointed this out to me, also stating that i got his legs and feet, not hers, like people have been telling me. sometimes, i feel that i've got more testosterone than estrogen. obviously, this isn't a fact, but i just have this feeling sometimes. i obviously don't have a dick, and for crying out loud, i know i've got hips, but then again, i don't really have the boobs to go with it [<patama>ha! i've got tush! and i think that it's better than having the boobs. bewbies. eww :p </patama> ;) ]

oh, although i've also been an ass to myself by not being quite active, recently for a month, i've been doing sit ups again. also went on to doing push ups, building triceps and biceps, getting my stomach firmer, telling myself i want a flat stomach and hopefully abs.

in regards again to testosterone, i went to H&M and found designer boxer briefs on sale for 2 dollars a pair :) i got 4, and i think that they're really comfortable. i use them mainly for sleeping, and occasionally, AS undies themselves. my only concern is the crotch part which has this...thing. after all, it was made in such a way to accomodate the male species member. the lulz. hmmnn? no, i don't get off wearing men's boxer briefs. i got them because i've always wanted to try it out, plus for $20.00 a pair reduced to $2.00, who wouldn't? it was pretty amusing, both men and women were going over what was left of the b-briefs XD

i think that i've got to cut my fingernails. on a note however, if anyone replies, do you think i'm the mothering type/someone who'd settle down and have kids, or just the settle down part?

personally, i don't think i'm into relationships at all. but maybe it's just because i haven't met someone where the feeling is mutual at all.

i grabbed this entry from multiply. so uh...the previous journal pertaining to some stuff mentioned is located there.

4がつ 15日ぼくも 19さい

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 00:29:55 GMT

eehhh..err...where to start...

I’ve been really busy lately.

I quit my job.

I got more free time.

I can do more art.

I had my first taste of skateboarding.

It was invigorating.

Enough one-liners. Been busy lately, here are some stuff I can upload as to what I’ve been up to. Been doing more design stuff, illustration, and sculpture---most of which I cannot show, these are what I can though.

>> I got a haircut---well, I cut my hair myself. I think I like short hair better than long hair especially now that it’s getting warmer and summer is approaching---the me cannot wait to go swimming. It’s supposed to be spring and just two-three weeks ago, flurries enveloped the ground once more. A white blanket is endearing, but for more than 5 months, it’s just annoying.


>> I got a coffee…container? I don’t know what to call it ^^; it was a wonderful gift. One of those you could change the inside to suit you. So I drew something last night, y voila. It’s inspired by a drawing I did a week ago. And then I designed a dress similar to the one the girl was wearing---I have to look for it, it’s somewhere around the many drawings piled somewhere here x_x


>> Zalina, my classmate drew me Greene! She made Greene Caucasian and mixed up her eyebrows, but I don’t mind at all. She’s really talented, has very little love and confidence in her work, I am promoting her!!! And she signed it in both English and Russian too~

>> I picked up two books, Neil Gaimann’s fragile things, and Misha Glenny’s McMafia which is mainly about the shadow economy making up 20% of the world’s GDP; facts about organized crime around the world, from Ukraine’s gun-runners, to Canada’s marijuana industry.

>> And lastly is stuff for CTS Art Centre’s Annual Exhibition, my entries, that is. I actually had this on a memory card---I lost my thumbdrive x_x, that which contained my portfolio and previous projects!!! Man! this stuff was crammed to the bone! [please be minded that I have no idea that such an expression exists, and if it offends you to the point of horrific proliferation, god forgive me] done exactly a day before it was due---project assigned to grade 12s to come up with some sort of poster design, handout, and promotion or whatever for the art centre’s annual exhibition. IMO, it is horrible, and it hurts my eyes, and my original planning is nowhere near it, but alas, I was somehow able to come up with…ehh.




On the other hand, pictures aside, I was able to go to a skate park for a field trip that our class had---yes, unbelievable---we got lessons and got to skate for 4 hours. I got to skate for the first time---skateboard---it is thrilling. I kid not. It makes me want to actually have a sport, skateboarding that is! We also got pizza and watermelon for lunch. Lovely. The relation btw of the field trip to the project was the fact that we have to design 3 skateboard decks. The winner gets his/her skateboard design produced on an actual skateboard, get a free board with their design, get 100$, and have their board shown in the skate park with a plaque and all mentioning the designer---did I mention that these boards will be sold? :)

Now I have to finish paintings, start on my enrichment the 2nd, and transferring the designs into digital media.

PS…I got in York-Sheridan!!! WOOT!

cultivating xenophobia

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 00:36:01 GMT

eez eh RANT. i tell you right now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I want my pay. Now.

As much as the fact that there are certain advantages and disadvantages to having a part time job while being in school, it always goes back to the main issue: money. Whether it’s just for the sake of having extra money, a.k.a. spending money/pocket money, or for a greater cause/dire financial need, you do the fruit picking. I hate spending a lot of money on things that I don’t need same as to food that won’t do any good to me…but I just can’t help it sometimes. I try to cut on my coffee budget, same as to random junk food or chocolate here and there, but the common knowledge that energy is what fuels humans to drive their day without crashing or running low on gas makes me think twice. It’s also not always that I get to wake up early and fix myself something for lunch, nor do I always have the resources either.

There’s also the temptation of sales from your favorite stores, be they the country’s leading drugstore, clothing shops, or art supplies and what not. You find yourself in the constant need for toiletries, [pads and what not because tampons are perverts who rob you of your virginity---so men and boys alike, take caution] aside from the regular shampoo and conditioner, [for which I tell myself that at least deodorants can last up to 4 months or so] and sometimes the simple vanities in life such as hair color and bleach---thank goodness that I put my hair and budget on strike for the sake of not getting bald and anti-hair loss factors---heckler koch! I even cut my own hair to avoid spending 40 big ones from some ritzy-paschnehy hair salon, fweh. now i'm remembering the car commercial with the "now that's just cheap" statement about not getting a haircut T_T [i want to go to saskat and get my hair done by nicole from dj's coiffures because she cuts beautifully and it's a deal for 25] but now that i'm thinking of it, maybe i could get into cutting people's hair hmmnn.

Favorite clothing shops are always tempting. It’s hard, but it’s resistible, like your favorite chocolate, or a piece de resistance---proven and tested.

Art supplies…are always irresistible. You can wait and bide your time, or completely ignore them, but the latter is just unforgivable. Most of the time, when you have the money, you cave in. but they’re very much worth it. Which is bad for your bank account---you have to especially remind yourself that you have to pay the bills first T_T

Moving on, I’m in an art slump as of now. I am once again rock bottom, the pits, the schnitz, the gits, bellow the ass fritz. You reading me? Good for you, dearie. Err >.> [damn mainstream is getting into my head grrr.]

The point is, I nee inspiration once more. Which is very weird. I’ve been having my fill for the past few days, but the fact is, it’s not leading me to produce more art that I’m supposed to. I’m in a slump because I can’t get my git up and going. [I know my words are not making any sense, but it’s not supposed to make any sense at all what with my head screwed on and all that] In fact, it’s not only the lack of inspiration, it’s also the lack of drive. I HATE IT. I’ve also been cooped up in a pent that has become foreign so lately, I’ve been unable to call it my mind, aka my home as of the moment. There are also other issues, but wait! There’s more!

I don’t think I’ll be going to college/university after high school [for the damn focken time] for the matter. I’d like to take a break. Or maybe just take a semester off and work. Work. Yeah. Just work and earn money like a regular someone from the workforce. But then again I tell meself that heck, if you wanna go to school and get higher education for a better job, do it now! but again, there’s the question of whether I get in or not, plus! Do I really want to do this/what will it do for me in the future? Big deal! So I got a job, what’s next? Everything all just seems pointless as of the moment, really >.>

I have zero confidence in myself at most times. Sometimes all the self-motivation speeches that the poseur positivist me gives seemeth to be ash blowing in the wind that just got in my eye and deluded me or something. But hey, there’s always hope, right?

I don’t know really. Life is sweet. Bittersweet. But that’s why we love dark chocolate, right?

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 06:02:33 GMT

2 journals in one night. because i found this one to be particularly fun :)

PUT YOUR IPOD ON SHUFFLE AND...you know what to do ;)

1.How does the world see you?
Kuki – Shiina Ringo [I am a stem. Sprouting a pretty flower. Yaay. Thud.]

2.Will I have a happy life?
294036224052 – deathgaze [pretty wild one I guess?]

3.What do my friends really think of me?
Helden – Apocalyptica [I am a hero! Hurrah, wtf.]

4.Do people secretly lust after me?
Burn – Apocalyptica […damn.]

5.How can I make myself happy?
shiki no uta – samurai champloo [I do like four seasons]

6.What should I do with my life?
bois de merveilles – Malice Mizer […what?]

7.Will I ever have children?
Green Bird – Yoko Kanno / Cowboy Bebop [I think I hear them say mary, mary. So does that make me doomed to be a virgin forever? Oh yeah, she never stayed as a virgin. Lol.]

8.What is some good advice for me?
Feel Good Inc – Gorillaz [yea man. Sup yo. Wtf :)) ]

9.How will I be remembered?
Yume no Ato – Shiina Ringo [everyone dreams, right?]

10.What is my signature dancing song?
Tsumigi Asobi – Shiina Ringo [I really, really do~]

11.What do I think my current theme song is?
Shokubeni – Dir en Grey [I do not sell my foken body!]

12.What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Se! Se! Se! – Masami Tsuchiya [whatcha doin? Just woke up ;) ]

13.What song will play at my funeral?
ex dream – CLAMP X [no. way.]

14.What type of men/women do you like?
Crescendolls – Daft Punk [I like dolls.]

15.What is my day going to be like?
no.[666] – Gazette [happy birthday motherfucker. Wtf.]

16.What song would be the title of my own porno movie?
Toguro – Dir en Grey [damn, that must be one sexy porno movie I’m gonna be in then]

17.What's your outlook on life?
Lemontune – FAKE? [the song’s ok. So mine must be ok too, right???]

18.What does your family think of you?
Audrey – Dir en Grey [wtf, I’m a poison kiss]

19.How has your love life been so far?
Keshou Naoshi – Tokyo Jihen [like putting on make up…what????]

20.What is your Motto?
au revoir – Malice Mizer [bye, bye…gackt.]

21.What do you think of the person you like?
COLDPLAY – Sadie [he plays. It’s not cold though]

22.What do you think about very often?
These Things – She Wants Revenge [I do not think of women with popsicles pleasuring themselves in the bathroom, really! O_o]

23.What is your life story?
Boring – The Pierces [I’ve never went girl on girl or menagerie a trois -_-;]

24.What’s the worst thing that can happen?
Countdown – Berry [to failure]

25.What makes you cry?
FAREWELL – Scissor [on a random note, I can be a sucker for certain sad gay movies]

26.What makes you laugh?
The Cape of Storms – Hyde [pfftt…yeah, Hyde’s engrish XDDD]

i do not know where all of my other songs went, but apparently, the ipod loves shiina ringo. but you just have to like her :D

25 FACTS
[i'm reposting this one from a diff source]

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1.) I’m not really good at communicating with certain species called human beings. But I do try, every once in a while. I think that I’m actually getting good at it.

2.) I'm no blooming social butterfly. But I’m rather fond of butterflies and most winged insects that you can attach the word ‘pretty’ and ‘fascinating’.

3.) I have been wearing glasses since the age of 3. My eye sight is bad enough for me not to recognize someone I know, 2 feet away from the me.

4.) My eyebrows’ default form is ‘taray/sungit’ mode / the opposite of inviting. Even when I sleep, it somehow finds its way to going back to such, no matter how hard I try. The fact that I rarely smile doesn’t help this. It’s another factor as to why I have difficulty trying to approach/talk to people. Or so I think.

5.) In relevance to the aforementioned, I can smile, but I cannot.

6.) I cannot face a world without yaoi, which leads me to a theory that I may never marry or commit to a relationship in the future. I would like to have kids though. But sometimes, the thought of it seems a pain.

7.) I have a lot of frustrations in life. But I tell myself, some people have bigger problems and have had to face oceans of challenges. You may not have the means as of now, but you have the opportunity to develop yourself. Why stop here? Move forward, and work hard. If you want to improve on certain things, work on it. Hard work begets success, and excessive whining and self pity will get you nowhere. I like to think positive and try to divert myself towards this way, instead of having a pessimistic view of things. Most of the time however, I fail.

8.) I think that independence and dependence have their own positive and negative attributes. Too much dependence causes you to feel helpless when left with a task that seems impossible to face---which is the usual dilemma of most. Too much independence makes you lose relationships and your need for people. At least that’s what I think.

9.) I like to think; a lot of things, that is. IMO, the point of living is to think and act. To not be able to do anything is the opposite of living. To not be able to think of something reduces your will to act.

10.) I like to sing, even when I’m off-key. I like to do it in private though :p

11.) I am a lazy bum. I hope to change this soon…sooner than soon, hopefully >.>

12.) I have to feel motivated, or I won’t care at all x_x I’m a procrastinator who is most of the time, uninspired. I’ve yet my raison d’etre---something I think that everyone seeks to find in order to make life more meaningful to them.

13.) I am at the point in my life where I feel quite young, yet at the same time, quite old, and would like to regress back to childhood and innocence, which seems like a very vile thing at the moment. At the same time, I would like to get out of school and just start working. Honestly, western educational standards annoy me endlessly. However, you can’t deny the effectiveness in it, although it does have its disadvantages. But I still do think that at the age of 20, people should start working and should be out of school, or so I was made to believe.

14.) There is a certain frustration in my life that I would like to just blurt out---no holds, or columns held back, and just spill the milk. But, with endless possibilities and my current situation, I digress.

15.) I feel inept. Very. Inept. There are also times when I feel very useless. I hate those times very much.

16.) I dislike my first name. I used to hate it with passion. Despite this, I got used to being called by it.

17.) Someday, I’d like to shave part of my hair, cut it irregularly, and dye it a blue-ish turqouise, and lavish crimson. Then I’ll wear a wig so that I can keep my hair, and keep a job.

18.) I will some day venture into the world of art, and immerse myself in it, despite the uncertainty that delving into its world holds.

19.) I grew up with grown ups during the early stage of my life. Therefore, I feel weird when talking to people my age. It takes me at least a year to get close to someone/make friends, in some cases, around 6 months. But that’s quite a rare feat, imo.

20.) I find it hard to keep up in touch with people x_x I fail at this terribly and miserably, even if it’s with my family. I like my solitude very much and find it really offensive when someone tries to pry into my personal space. Whenever it happens, it’s like this big alarm inside me goes off.

21.) I may, or may not have anything against you.

22.) I used to be a really outgoing kid with quite strange enthusiasm. I was bullied during grade school for not being able to speak tagalog/filipino. Thus, my current state was conceived.

23.) In terms of liking people, it took me five years to get over a high school crush. I hope that this will never happen again. One of my greatest fears is committing to a relationship.

24.) I like comfortable clothes. But at the same time, I also like not-so-comfortable-looking clothes.

25.) On a random note, I like the ace of spades~

whoever wants to do it can grab/do it :)

hello, lj

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 05:16:04 GMT

hmmnn...

i've been neglecting this account for some time. with other stuff too. it's been a pretty busy month so far...

i don't really know what to say grrr...

i've been really busy. with school. job. and...yeah. *snorts*--wtf >.>

i've also been watching daria for entertainment and amusement purposes, reading books on nazism, mengele, homosexuality and fascist germany, experiments done to twins in concentration camps...and the sorts :)

i love pastel. i need to do more pastel. and graphite.

i need to try watercolor again. basically, i'm gonna try my hand once again at this media.

i've been highly unproductive---according to my terms, even though i guess i've done quite a lot? mehh. i dunno.

i want short hair, i've been looking at skirts. what is wrong with me? >.> but i would really like short hair like amelie/ye olde russian girl hair cut :)

i cannot find something good to write these days. oh, i want to watch coraline, the movie. anyone watched it/is it any good?

i'm need to do homework right now, really.

why is everyone talking about getting laid, doing drugs---smoking joints and crystal meth---and ex's these days?

i feel as if my hands and feet have aged 20 years past my age. i also hate having sweaty hands...but sometimes, they're good.

and so...we shall commence with...

PHOTO DUMP:

our school library showcased some of its students works. the show was called 'ennui' which is french for boredom. hmmmnn...sure. mine be'est the red ones...

"i want to be a..."

"it withers and blooms"

"i..."

"head in the clouds"

lame titles. blahhh...

and vanity. this is the first one for this year :)

PS...Masami Tsuchiya, Rice Music, i recommend----my faves be Se, Se, Se, Rice Music, and Kafka :)

manifestations and carbonic reactions

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 04:29:50 GMT

...this is old stuff.
just for the sake of it, i will post character profiles of my...some time in the future, soon to be real loveley luviees~~~

ok, for the copy paste part...

*NOTE: most of these are made up---such as meanings and derivations of names and are a figment of one’s imagination. They WERE taken from real names and some true to life critters, though most of them modified to the author’s liking.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DOD DOC Si / IVAN / Bluefairy Louis

Marik Nikolai Ywar – [note - nickname: kolya]

TYPE: catwolf - Somali / Persian breed [pale-white]

[it’s made up. But let’s pretend that they’re like snow leopards except that they’re pure white and look like wolves. Okay, maybe wolves.]

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Hair: white mohair like original DOC Si picture/promo image

Eyes: http://www.dollsoom.com/shop/step1.php?number=829

G14LD-05(Yellow Gray) soom eyes

Age: 65 earth years, equivalent to 13 years of age

HISTORY/BACKGROUND

- From the ‘Ywar’ clan; he belongs to a pack of Somali-Persian wolves from the Dunasha regions that live further north of Kuba valley, situated along the rocky mountains of Zoja. The said mountains are covered in snow for 9 out of the 12 months in a year. He is constantly pressured by his peers, due to the pride that the Ywar clan takes in their role of hunters with great strength and agility. He is considered as the “weakling” of the group. During a turf war with the Lazar---a wolf clan---over the borders of Zoja and Slava mountains, Nikolai is wounded in battle and falls from the rocky masses of Zoja, into the outskirts of the forest of Luba where destiny has fated him to meet with Andzrej.

PERSONALITY/TRAITS/ETC

N/A as of the moment. will pursue this little critter when i've planned out the doll i want for him

-----------------------------------

[SOOM Heliot]

Daemian Andzrej Rafal - “Andzrej”

TYPE: Mythical Creature - unicorn

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Hair: unruly black mohair [just below the nape of the neck]

Eyes: Eyeco 12mm/13mm Ebony | Eyeco 14mm/15mm Ebony

Age: 95 earth years, equivalent to 19 years of age

HISTORY/BACKGROUND

Part of the proud ‘Rafal’ clan of unicorns from the Afanasj region; he was given the name Andzrej at birth by his father. His birth is considered as a scandal to the clan due to the fact that he was conceived by a human mother, leading him to having a black hide, as contrast to the glorious white that unicorns possess. Considered as the black sheep of the Rafal, a second name, ‘Daemian’ was bestowed upon him by the clan leader, meaning disgrace.

There was also an incident between Andzrej and the clan leader’s youngest son that brought about his exile from the clan even though his father was considered to be one of Rafal’s heroes. This led him to Kuba valley where he chose to make a home of the forest of Luba.

PERSONALITY/TRAITS/ETC

Because of his estrangement with the clan due to his origins, he grew up as a quiet young man. Despite this, he had an inquisitive nature, and liked to observe the world around him. This resulted into his natural ability to comprehend things fast, and wield great results with ease. His skill for hunting and the bow was also appreciated by his clan, same as his handiness and knowledge in not only medicinal plants, but poisonous ones, and creatures of the wild as well.

He is mostly quiet at times, but has learned to express himself more often because of Nikolai. He is also very caring and protective of the one he finds dear to his heart---Nikolai.

In the Nikolai Andzrej universe, the characters are usually given a title name that comes before their given name, indicating either social status, physical condition, or the likes, depending on the clan leader and/or elders’ choice. It is usually given when the recipient reaches the tenth of their maturity. Andzrej’s however, was given at birth.

Nikolai’s first name, ‘Marik’ means “a pretty name” or alludes to something like that. At the same time, it is the inferior of ‘Marko’ which means ‘special’ and therefore could be derived as “nothing special.” If you combine the two, it could mean “a pretty decorative name, but nothing special.” The feminine version, ‘Marika’ means “pretty thing.”

The Dunasha regions is made up of three divisions: Keshamnieva, Kuba Valley, and the Kalev Territories which is divided into smaller islands by the sea.

Kuba Valley is further divided into five areas: the Taras plains, Luba forest, Zoya mountains, Slava mountains, and the Korat desert

The Afanasj [ahfenasi] region is composed of Efgenyi [efgeni], Iljosif [ilyosiv], Nushkohka, and the capital, Eydjs [eedis], where Andzrej used to live.

what do you think?

that being said, exam week is incoming. well, it's on the effing wednesday XD but basically, exam week is a sorry excuse of a day to hand in your ~~shit~~ work, upon which you are graded, and then you're free to go. then again, if you haven't finished it, you can go to school and consider it a working period for you. of course, poor people with academic subjects get to write real exams :D yes, congratulations~ well i do have one academic subject so i'll have to write one exam...on friday pa po. mwehehehe XD

i'm still going on with some personal stuffxschool work, maybe i'll post pics soon.

i finished my pointilism painting, which looks anything but bright, colorful, orgasmic explotions. But then, i still have to labor on a still life painting, life drawing studies, and a fauvismXcubism-themed painting... *bites head off* procrastinating, here we goo!!!

tomorrow, i'll have to take out my plaster mold and whack it hard, to reveal my partner's head---finally! i'm tired of plaster! plaster on my jeans, plaster on my shirts, plaser on my sleeves, on my hair, on my boots, face, lips, everywhere! the best part, cleaning up the studion. sweet crazy white plaster explosions! but when i think of it, i don't really have anything against plaster/i don't really mind cleaning up.
bronze and wax for next semester! XD i'll be sad to be leaving printmaking though. and i have math... >.> fuck you math, fuck youuuu x_x

i just had to write this before going to sleep.

PS...
does anyone know "Hymypoika", aka "Young Gods" or "Napola" aka "Napola, Before the Fall" ?
movie recommendations :)
more on napola though. i'm just going for hymypoika because i see some young men chastising each other ;)

starfighter.com

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 04:40:31 GMT

apparently, i missed out on something!

http://starfightercomic.com

you know you want to click the link :D

oh!
my vampire wars clan is growing >:}
...with 8 members! lulz. it used to be 5!!! XD

i just recently saw dollshe pics. i like the mobility. pros and cons result into a 50/50. i like the fact that it's grown more musculature[?] and that it's not as lanky as it used to be. but the abs and the ribcage put me off, along with the mile-long legs, and the unhuman curviness. but then again, if you're gonna dress up a doll, all of that's gonna be covered. up. as far as i see it, i won't go past the 50/50 bracket until i see poses, and well...promotion pics, i guess. looking forward to see all of the head sculpts.

oh, Soom Dec MD, Heliot killed me. i payed layaway for him already. just that i'm hoping for the wire transfer to push through---i hope that i did this right...seriously!!! >.<

i have made character profiles, eye types, wig types, background information, setup, topgraphy/the whole universe for little kolya and andzrej!!!

i'm crossing my fingers...yeah... >.<

2009 start: game, portfolio, college interviews

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 19:24:36 GMT

first post for 2009~

no cuts, straight to the point...

i have facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=1180201372&ref=profile

i am also in vampire wars in facebook :)
http://apps.facebook.com/vampiresgame/index.php
please join my clan *bows oh so deeply*
i am a level 10 ravenous vampire, "enigme", a pitiful sum of 5 clan members---pitiful for a level 10 vampire >.>

yes. i'm sortof addicted as of now to the game XD
i rarely make notice of my facebook account, only to fall at the mercy of a game, a vampire game! no, i am not a fan of twilight, neither have i read the book, nor will i ever, thank you.

i'm also at the mercy of school, portfolio preparations, and just happy to have gotten a confirmation of my application [i was sent the pdf file and am ready to schedule interview~] to the york-sheridan design program: http://design.yorku.ca

now i'm off for lunch, later to fill my sketchbook with more sketches, and make an hourly peek on my vampire wars character XD

belated happy new years~

Hello, keeds

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 19:31:50 GMT

Hello, season’s greetings! A belated happy Christmas [I hope you guys had a happy one] and a healthy incoming new year J how was your Christmas? Got new stuff that you’re proud of? Celebration-wise, happy, revolutionary, anything interesting? Mine was pretty tame, quite somber, but at least we had some wine. So that’s cool.

I got sick on Christmas, had a light fever on boxing day, and had a relapse on the 27^th. I’m feeling better now, but also had to catch up with schoolwork due for next year.

I’m grabbing this of sorts from colamonster, writing something random about yourself or so. and so,

>> I’ve been wearing glasses from the very early age of 3. thanks to barney, the magic school bus, lady lovely locks, biker micer mars, tom and jerry, you know. Children’s tv in general. I’ve also had numerous glasses since then. I lost some due to accidentally seating on them---my father has also lost a pair this way all thanks to me---, leaving them in public transport, misplacing them only to find them after 3 years. Some memorable frames that come into mind are a certain snoopy children’s frame, ye olde round-rimmed children’s glasses, a favorite brown oval-rimmed pair, and the black ones I have right now :}

>> My parents wanted a boy for their first born. Well they got me. I was dressed as a boy at some point of my childhood. Short boyish haircut, dressed as an English school boy, boyish-looking sweatshirts and pants, etc. One day, my mom put me into these matching shirt and skirt in white with pink polka dots, gave me a matching pink headband and flats. Thus ended my happy childhood career of cross-dressing. Looking back, I used to be a pretty snazzy kid, dressed in fun candy colors. Hey, I even owned a pair of doc martens with blue, white, pink, yellow flowers on ‘em! Looking back on old pictures, I must’ve been one pretty cool keed.

>> My first language is English. I learned Filipino/tagalog later on. I used to be a really outgoing kid, into singing, dancing, socializing and the likes. I became the polar opposite when I came to the Philippines and got teased because I didn’t know how to converse in tagalog. While most adults found it quite adorable, and liked me because of this, the kids didn’t. I had trouble making friends. Most of the girls ganged up on me---partly because I couldn’t understand what they were saying, partly because I was ‘the new kid in town’ and whatnot. I became tomboyish, and took liberty into chasing boys, having races, playing ‘tex’ , ‘pog’ , and learning card games/gambling as early as 2^nd grade. Haha. Those were the days.

>> i used to think that I was pretty tall when I was a kid, and would grow even more---come on, it’s what every adult tells you when you’re in your preteens! Then one day, I got appendicitis. Ever since then, I have not grown an inch.

>> My wardrobe is 80% black. It used to be 90. It’s just been lately that I’ve been getting stuff with color, keeping presents with other colors---as long as they’re red, violet/purple, green, blue. Others would be white and grey. I do have one yellow shirt J

>> I like cats more than I do dogs. I’d like to own one, but I don’t think that I’d make a great or even a good owner for the matter.

>> I like kids. But at the same time, it’s just the cuteness. I prefer little boys over little girls, especially cute 3-year olds with old-fashioned round-rimmed glasses.

>> I love boots. I really do. They’re just really comfortable, look good with jeans, non-jean pants, even slacks! No, really I’m serious. They’re just lovely.

>> i used to be a really avid reader. I barely read right now. Books are expensive. But I do try. I’m more into graphic novels or comics right now, western, or manga. I like action-themed ones, the more graphic ones, or those along the lines of the surreal, psychologically inclined ones. But I occasionally go for historical ones as well.

>> Drawing the male anatomy has always been a dream of mine. But I am frustratingly stuck with the female…structure. I like drawing curves? But honestly, the masculinity of muscles, the curvature, and how you can see bone, especially the spine, how it ghosts upon the back of either man or woman, honestly, you can’t deny the beauty of the human figure. I like both. But my biggest challenge is to draw a masculine male figure.

I don't think of myself as a random person in reality. I guess this is as random as i can get, although i do think that it's some pretty basic stuff on me.

This aside, Happy New Year everyone :)
and feel free to write something random about yourself too

PS...SOOM MD Heliot... <333~~ ahh...~

some thoughts on christmas

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 06:56:12 GMT

i'm tired.

anyhow,

i just arrived from my flight from toronto, ON to saskatoon, SK
damn. uh...i got to meet my mom. i guess we're getting along pretty well. my dad's coming tomorrow. it's been a while since the three of us have had a christmas all to ourselves. it's kinda funny, thinking that of the 18 years i've been alive, we've only celebrated christmas the three of us altogether for 7 years. this year will be the 8th. i'm not sentimental about it all, but i guess it's sort of a heartwarming thought? maybe, i'm not really feeling it. but i guess it's good? i'm no heartless bastard child. i just got used to it. Hence, for me, it doesn't really matter. am i making sense? it used to when i was a kid. but hello, world, i am of legal age, and even though i just reached it, through time, experience, and circumstances in life, i just got over it.

i got my parents stuff. so far, my mother likes what i got her.

i feel kindof weird posting this on lj. but i guess i'll be posting this too on multiply. but later on maybe?

i'll be posting pics there soon when my dad arrives. we'll be going to saskatoon---the SK base is in PA.

oh, i also survived a snowstorm, blizzard. garr...you have no idea unless you've experienced walking through both. because the buses just took too long to arrive. so i walked home from the mall which is about 3 blocks away from where i live. but it was a heluva fun anyway even though i had no gloves and my cheeks were frozen stiff.

anyhow,
so it's christmas. not quite. almost :)

what do you guys want for christmas?---if anyone reads this that is

me? if i could afford it, i'd like knee-high rider boots. from aldo XD
i can't find my old ones---for some reason i think it got put along with the stuff to be donated/given away >.>
and i did like that pair...*sigh*

i typed this out a long time ago. so some stuff might be repetitive from above. here goes...

>> boots: military/working boots, engineer boots, platform boots, riding boots

>> creepers

>> one formal jacket [office/job interview, special occasion/s]

>> handbag [for both casual and formal/proper purposes] ---done! I don’t care if it looks like a doctor’s bag. I think it’s cool.

>> male boxers/briefs

>> …br…br…br….a…. >.> mine are…dying… >.>

>> 13” mac pro book / 17” mac pro for home use

>> ADOBE CS4 suite---for student of cause~

>> leather gloves…for winter >.>

>> to go snow boarding, skiing, and skating this winter XD

>> to see a bear in hibernation this winter XD

>> size 4 corset from H&M---if it’s still available

>> black plastic bracelets ---done!

>> black feather earrings w/ or w/o matching necklace ---I got the earrings J

>> a job

>> get into york-sheridan’s b-des honors program [link: http://design.yorku.ca/ ] or just Sheridan institute for illus/pcvat. maybe I should’ve applied to animation instead---hmmn…nah. I don’t really like 3d o_O and maybe OCAD U’s good too?

>> win scholarships, get bursaries, apply for student loan---no, seriously.

>> a haircut ---now i just have to decide on the styles i like, hmnn...

happy holidays, people :)

art dump, 12-15-08

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 04:27:48 GMT

art under cut

something old that i sortof lazily finished. i liked it while i was doing it...the face. until i had to stop working on it due to other stuff. then when i continued, bla.

this one's a WIP.
not that big, around 11inx18in or so. i am in love with recycled paper/brown paper/craft paper/textured paper. also just recently have i began once again use pencil/graphite/lead [sorry, whatever of the likes ^^;] properly as a media other than just for sketches.

i'll be working on pieces like this one more in the future. bigger though i guess. i know i promised to draw men. i am. i will. but they're still concepts/in progress/i haven't started them yet. somehow, for me it's easier to draw males when there's a model/in life drawing.

this for now i guess.

have i mentioned btw that i'm broke? lol. i'm literally becoming a starving artist. but of course! artists need materials. and they don't come cheap. definitely. then, there's also christmas. i'm getting a job soon. really. how many times have i said that?! >.>