digesting delusions

This online journal aka blog is where I vent my frustrations, shout my joys, exasperate the non-existent, and exhume euphoria hidden from rental+lative sights.

My dinner consisted of sunflower seeds, grapes, and strawberries. I had chocolate chip cookies and milk for desert, which I also had before dinner.

Bon apetit~

wired vocaloids

 

oh god. seriously,

the gayest characters i have ever played in any game...

my hat goes of to:


The Emperor & Kuja. [yes, period]

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Honestly, let me give you a DISSIDIA scenario:

Emperor to Cloud:  Entertain Me
*Cloud gets trapped several times [ah, ah, ah! becomes prolly an, ann, ahnn~ or is it just  me?]*
---Cloud loses, gets totalled in EX-Mode---
Emperor: Learn your limits [of pleasing me---whut???]

and then he sits in the air like some prima dona. SRSLY.
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DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH KUJA.

But then, i do think that they look pre.tty. good. to.ge.therrr...

To begin with,
 

both have feathers for hair;
terribly vain, both are;
they LOVE to torture whoever they're against;

THEY JUST LOOK GOOD TOGETHER, DAMMMNNIT!

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on the other hand,

reading week's been pretty good. i've been drawing again---like my stuff, not school shit, yea!
95% done with one piece,
100% done with another,
both in mixed media.
i'd like to render the 2nd one once again however.

reading week's been fun~

i think i need another one. god. reading week...don't leeeaavee meee...yet.

"The title, "Otomen" is a pun made of the Japanese word "otome", meaning "young lady" or "mistress", and the English word "men". The characters in the series refer to Asuka as an "otomen" and even he himself has done so."

 

eez eh RANT. i tell you right now.

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I want my pay. Now.

As much as the fact that there are certain advantages and disadvantages to having a part time job while being in school, it always goes back to the main issue: money. Whether it’s just for the sake of having extra money, a.k.a. spending money/pocket money, or for a greater cause/dire financial need, you do the fruit picking. I hate spending a lot of money on things that I don’t need same as to food that won’t do any good to me…but I just can’t help it sometimes. I try to cut on my coffee budget, same as to random junk food or chocolate here and there, but the common knowledge that energy is what fuels humans to drive their day without crashing or running low on gas makes me think twice. It’s also not always that I get to wake up early and fix myself something for lunch, nor do I always have the resources either.

There’s also the temptation of sales from your favorite stores, be they the country’s leading drugstore, clothing shops, or art supplies and what not. You find yourself in the constant need for toiletries, [pads and what not because tampons are perverts who rob you of your virginity---so men and boys alike, take caution] aside from the regular shampoo and conditioner, [for which I tell myself that at least deodorants can last up to 4 months or so] and sometimes the simple vanities in life such as hair color and bleach---thank goodness that I put my hair and budget on strike for the sake of not getting bald and anti-hair loss factors---heckler koch! I even cut my own hair to avoid spending 40 big ones from some ritzy-paschnehy hair salon, fweh. now i'm remembering the car commercial with the "now that's just cheap" statement about not getting a haircut T_T [i want to go to saskat and get my hair done by nicole from dj's coiffures because she cuts beautifully and it's a deal for 25] but now that i'm thinking of it, maybe i could get into cutting people's hair hmmnn.

Favorite clothing shops are always tempting. It’s hard, but it’s resistible, like your favorite chocolate, or a piece de resistance---proven and tested.

Art supplies…are always irresistible. You can wait and bide your time, or completely ignore them, but the latter is just unforgivable. Most of the time, when you have the money, you cave in. but they’re very much worth it. Which is bad for your bank account---you have to especially remind yourself that you have to pay the bills first T_T

Moving on, I’m in an art slump as of now. I am once again rock bottom, the pits, the schnitz, the gits, bellow the ass fritz. You reading me? Good for you, dearie. Err >.> [damn mainstream is getting into my head grrr.]

The point is, I nee inspiration once more. Which is very weird. I’ve been having my fill for the past few days, but the fact is, it’s not leading me to produce more art that I’m supposed to. I’m in a slump because I can’t get my git up and going. [I know my words are not making any sense, but it’s not supposed to make any sense at all what with my head screwed on and all that] In fact, it’s not only the lack of inspiration, it’s also the lack of drive. I HATE IT. I’ve also been cooped up in a pent that has become foreign so lately, I’ve been unable to call it my mind, aka my home as of the moment. There are also other issues, but wait! There’s more!

I don’t think I’ll be going to college/university after high school [for the damn focken time] for the matter. I’d like to take a break. Or maybe just take a semester off and work. Work. Yeah. Just work and earn money like a regular someone from the workforce. But then again I tell meself that heck, if you wanna go to school and get higher education for a better job, do it now! but again, there’s the question of whether I get in or not, plus! Do I really want to do this/what will it do for me in the future? Big deal! So I got a job, what’s next? Everything all just seems pointless as of the moment, really >.>

I have zero confidence in myself at most times. Sometimes all the self-motivation speeches that the poseur positivist me gives seemeth to be ash blowing in the wind that just got in my eye and deluded me or something. But hey, there’s always hope, right?

I don’t know really. Life is sweet. Bittersweet. But that’s why we love dark chocolate, right?

1.How does the world see you?
Kuki – Shiina Ringo [I am a stem. Sprouting a pretty flower. Yaay. Thud.]

2.Will I have a happy life?
294036224052 – deathgaze [pretty wild one I guess?]

3.What do my friends really think of me?
Helden – Apocalyptica [I am a hero! Hurrah, wtf.]

4.Do people secretly lust after me?
Burn – Apocalyptica […damn.]

5.How can I make myself happy?
shiki no uta – samurai champloo [I do like four seasons]

6.What should I do with my life?
bois de merveilles – Malice Mizer […what?]

7.Will I ever have children?
Green Bird – Yoko Kanno / Cowboy Bebop [I think I hear them say mary, mary. So does that make me doomed to be a virgin forever? Oh yeah, she never stayed as a virgin. Lol.]

8.What is some good advice for me?
Feel Good Inc – Gorillaz [yea man. Sup yo. Wtf :)) ]

9.How will I be remembered?
Yume no Ato – Shiina Ringo [everyone dreams, right?]

10.What is my signature dancing song?
Tsumigi Asobi – Shiina Ringo [I really, really do~]

11.What do I think my current theme song is?
Shokubeni – Dir en Grey [I do not sell my foken body!]

12.What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Se! Se! Se! – Masami Tsuchiya [whatcha doin? Just woke up ;) ]

13.What song will play at my funeral?
ex dream – CLAMP X [no. way.]

14.What type of men/women do you like?
Crescendolls – Daft Punk [I like dolls.]

15.What is my day going to be like?
no.[666] – Gazette [happy birthday motherfucker. Wtf.]

16.What song would be the title of my own porno movie?
Toguro – Dir en Grey [damn, that must be one sexy porno movie I’m gonna be in then]

17.What's your outlook on life?
Lemontune – FAKE? [the song’s ok. So mine must be ok too, right???]

18.What does your family think of you?
Audrey – Dir en Grey [wtf, I’m a poison kiss]

19.How has your love life been so far?
Keshou Naoshi – Tokyo Jihen [like putting on make up…what????]

20.What is your Motto?
au revoir – Malice Mizer [bye, bye…gackt.]

21.What do you think of the person you like?
COLDPLAY – Sadie [he plays. It’s not cold though]

22.What do you think about very often?
These Things – She Wants Revenge [I do not think of women with popsicles pleasuring themselves in the bathroom, really! O_o]

23.What is your life story?
Boring – The Pierces [I’ve never went girl on girl or menagerie a trois -_-;]

24.What’s the worst thing that can happen?
Countdown – Berry [to failure]

25.What makes you cry?
FAREWELL – Scissor [on a random note, I can be a sucker for certain sad gay movies]

26.What makes you laugh?
The Cape of Storms – Hyde [pfftt…yeah, Hyde’s engrish XDDD]


i do not know where all of my other songs went, but apparently, the ipod loves shiina ringo. but you just have to like her :D
 

hmmnn...

i've been neglecting this account for some time. with other stuff too. it's been a pretty busy month so far...

i don't really know what to say grrr...

i've been really busy. with school. job. and...yeah. *snorts*--wtf >.>

i've also been watching daria for entertainment and amusement purposes, reading books on nazism, mengele, homosexuality and fascist germany, experiments done to twins in concentration camps...and the sorts :)

i love pastel. i need to do more pastel. and graphite.

i need to try watercolor again. basically, i'm gonna try my hand once again at this media.

i've been highly unproductive---according to my terms, even though i guess i've done quite a lot? mehh. i dunno.

i want short hair, i've been looking at skirts. what is wrong with me? >.> but i would really like short hair like amelie/ye olde russian girl hair cut :)

i cannot find something good to write these days. oh, i want to watch coraline, the movie. anyone watched it/is it any good?

i'm need to do homework right now, really.

why is everyone talking about getting laid, doing drugs---smoking joints and crystal meth---and ex's these days?

i feel as if my hands and feet have aged 20 years past my age. i also hate having sweaty hands...but sometimes, they're good.



 

apparently, i missed out on something!

http://starfightercomic.com


you know you want to click the link :D